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Post by Jupiter on Aug 31, 2020 13:16:59 GMT
Depression and it's various layers and forms 
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 31, 2020 13:19:28 GMT
Depression is not being able to open this forum up more, probably could help many, but when I do, or have in the past, the only types who post are 'bots'.
Do you know how annoying that is?...to write your heart out, and then just to have some human bot post about some medical cure or other 'sales pitch'.
Do people like that even have souls?
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 2, 2020 19:24:22 GMT
I'm realizing that energy without purpose, can still leave you feeling empty on the inside.
And right now I really don't have a purpose.
And I really don't feel like being apart of any society.
I'm turned off by many for putting one face on while on TV, and another face on while in day to day life.
I also find people, at least as portrayed on TV, who want so much 'Love and Respect' from society and by all, aren't even capable of doing the same to others, for whatever the reason.
'Reasons' cannot be an excuse to act ugly towards 'any other', while condemning others who are apparently being 'ugly' towards 'you'.
I wanna take this to a darker place, so will stop here, rather than write something that doesn't sound so friendly.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 2, 2020 19:27:07 GMT
What I basically see is 'ugly' accusing 'ugly' of being ugly.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 15, 2020 17:53:09 GMT
It's like time and space just dissolves everything in the physical, it's why 'movements' are needed to carry things on, cause if conflicts died out with the person or persons who started them, there'd be none.
But conflicts within either self, or others, usually carried on by passing your or ones sentiment along to others, either family, friends, loyalist, or through books, music, art ect.
If one has no one else or nothing to 'plant' personal conflicts onto, than when that one individual passes away, so does all the conflict in their heart and or soul.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 15, 2020 17:54:31 GMT
And when not healthy, what 'matters' really begins to shrink.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 15, 2020 17:56:49 GMT
Another depressing reality many face as they get older, seems as your body changes, more and more things you eat become bad for you, have side effects, so the older you get the less variety of stuff you can eat, if want to stay healthy, soon, as when a baby, seems the older you get all you can really eat is 'mush'....that is food reduced to it's most base form, mush.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 15, 2020 18:06:11 GMT
Another depressing reality many face as they get older, seems as your body changes, more and more things you eat become bad for you, have side effects, so the older you get the less variety of stuff you can eat, if want to stay healthy, soon, as when a baby, seems the older you get all you can really eat is 'mush'....that is food reduced to it's most base form, mush. I sometimes feel that way now, in that if never want to get sick or have body aches, I feel the only diet I should be eating is raw vegetables, and raw fruit, in a blender, and that's it. Nuts and Peanuts, ect, and that's it, no flavoring nothing, but how boring is that...very. And that's not even a garuntee cause now days (last 40 years for sure), so much is added to 'foods', that stuff still gets into your body from pesticide residue to genetically modified stuff, to traces of preservatives, air born bacteria and so forth. Hyena's, can eat anything, they're immune to just about any type of bacteria or disease, they have to be since they scavenge. |
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 29, 2020 17:19:46 GMT
One way you can tell you're enthusiasm for life is beginning to wane is when things you use to think were cool, simply start becoming objects to you.
Like 'a cool car' vs 'just something that takes you to work'.
When losing gusto for your life circumstance, a cool car simply becomes a delivery vessel that shuttles you to your slavish compound to labor.
Depression is odd, it comes in many forms.
Many many different forms.
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Post by Jupiter on Dec 16, 2020 0:12:31 GMT
Not feeling the Holidays or Xmas at all this year, not even a little bit Just not emotionally feeling the Holidays at all this year, have no one to share it with even if I did. And where I stay, no lights at all, Xmas just doesn't seem to be in the minds and hearts of as many people as it use to be years ago. Like take urban ghetto areas for example, with crime and all, do you really think people there have time for fairytales when dealing with real life issues, and drug dealers and violence and rap music? I hardly ever see Xmas stuff being celebrated in the hood areas anymore, you need intact families for that to occur. Xmas is 10 days away, and can't even tell, boy how times have changed from when little, or even maybe a decade or so ago. I just don't know what Xmas is anymore, it had a meaning in the past, but none now to me. Then add this election and all the heartbroken Trump voters, do you think they're going to be able to celebrate Xmas with the same joy? If Jesus was going to come back, he should of come back decades ago, to just let things go on and on and on like they are, makes no sense to this Earthling.
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Post by Jupiter on Dec 22, 2020 5:31:48 GMT
Odd how 'Moe Def' was masked up way back in 2007', very odd
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Post by Jupiter on Dec 26, 2020 1:53:43 GMT
I must say that of all Dec 25ths that can remember in life, this was the worst on ever, and the least felt.
Economically doing OK, but just not feeling it in other ways.
Nothing, nada, Halloween felt more cheery to me.
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Post by Jupiter on Mar 16, 2021 5:08:59 GMT
Been in a odd mood lately, I think it has to do with my drinking, I don't think body can handle alcohol like could when younger, doesn't seem to break it down the same, I don't know.
I'm no Doctor, but just know drinking isn't fun like it use to be, drinking use to put me in a happy mood, take me to a cheery place, not so much anymore.
When I drink now, seems spend more time coming down, the after effects, than the upper effect.
For a while I stopped, but never seems to last more than 2 months max, then starts again with one bored night or 'off day', off from work, where I'm like 'Heck, what will one beer hurt'...then the next thing it's 3-5 or more, and the cycle begins over again.
I just know my creative mood, artistic mood, has taken a back seat as of late.
In the past, when I drank, I'd get really creative, not so much anymore.
I don't know, things, moods, seem to come or rotate like seasons.
Also use to love Podcasting, creating Podcast shows, not anymore, and just spent over 500 dollars on mics and boards and this and that, and have totally lost interest as of late.
When off work, unless I'm drinking, I just don't ever feel like doing anything, that's a bad sign...that means I'm drinking to much, and it's just beer at that usually.
And sometimes being sober, when off, makes me feel more scared, cause I notice reality more, and how messed up stuff is in this nation.
But I guess never been a time where things weren't messed up in any nation on the planet, but when younger just don't seem to care.
Anyways, back to dealing with this dead pool mood I'm in.
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Post by Jupiter on Mar 16, 2021 5:14:11 GMT
Also when younger, I always had a sense of 'eternal life', cause was more of a believer in the Gospel and all when younger, not so much anymore though.
Now I seem to have more of a sense of 'It's nearing the end'...and nothing I do can change that, no matter how much money I earn, no matter how hard or little I work, who I like, where I live, it's like 'the end is approaching' type of feeling at times...mainly when alone.
Of course when surrounded by friends and family, one rarely thinks like that, but when always alone, thoughts can take us to weird places.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 10, 2021 15:35:23 GMT
I don't know if it's depression, but I just don't go out anymore, anywhere, other than to and from work, or to corner store to buy beer.
But now can even order beer to where I live, thanks to online grocery shopping, so I really have no reason to get up and go anywhere anymore.
Ive been in this area so long, same people, same mindset, same stuff, it's just not exciting to me anymore, I should of upped and moved years ago, when still cheap enough to do so and before this covid bs hit.
Actually I'm glad not living in a Authoritarian blue State, and glad, so far, no mandate crap at current job.
Democrat Governors want to drag this covid BS stuff out forever, scoundrals that they are.
I'd say the same about Republican Governors if they did the same, but they're the ones who seem to have common sense as of late.
Seems Trump either brought the worst or best out of people.
And he's still upsetting the apple cart, there's never a 24 hour news cycle without him in it, why?...cause he still serves a purpose for both sides, a boogie man distraction for Democrats and a campaign booster for Republicans, neither side can let go of him.
Anyways, one more day off, today, than have to go back to job tomorrow, and that's all it is anymore is a job, so trying to figure out how to earn passive income, but nothing ever seems to work for me, money, prosperity, just doesn't seem to like me for some reason.
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