Depression and it's various layers and forms

Some kind of a dark spirit or mood has fallen over me, it has totally flattened out my enthusiasm or belief that anything will ever go right for me ever again.

I'm living proof that good people don't always win, nor are talented people always rewarded, stolen from, but not rewarded.

That aside, being in a slumpy mood with a slumpy outlook isn't good for my health, so maybe I'll just invent some scenerio in my mind where everything goes my way.

I feel like my worth has expired to the world, it's a odd feeling.
And I hate scrolling word auto guessing.
I mean if you spell and write everything correctly, it's easier for others to steal your authentic writings.

Time to step out into a world that ____ me.
And to try to maintane a positive attitude regardless.

Today, I asked myself 'Is it time to just go?'..
I've never really done that before.

That mood you're in when you just know, feel like, you've lost



That mood you fall into when you just know you can't win, when you're certain destiny is against you, at least in a favorable way.
And when the forces that are holding you back or sabotaging your path, stay ever just out of your way, which makes it worse, cause then you have no one to confront.

Either way, it's a eerie mood to fall into.

[Sometimes I feel I need protection from myself, more than anyone else

Yes, as of late, it's myself, my own lazy habits, my lack of drive, and sometimes my drinking, that scares me more than anything else, cause you can't run away from yourself.

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Yep, you cannot run away from yourself, or your mind, or your habits.
But you can try to modify them to be less harmful to self.