The Bar, thoughts around alcohol and it's vices

If I decide not to drink, believe me you it's not do to any moral reason or reasons.
If I decide not to drink today, it's only do to the fact that I don't want to physically feel bad during the proceeding hours.

Ye, the first few drinks can be fun, but after that here's what happens, here's how alcohol plays with you.

After say 2 beers, you like how you feel, and want to keep that feeling going, and alcohol gives the illusion that if you stop at just 2 beers, ect, that you'll return to feeling even worse as the effect fades, and so 'now what'?

And so you respond by saying, well, lets keep it going, so end up guzzling more beers, or whatever until you can't 'come down' until finally fall asleep.
And so the coming down period takes place in your sleep, and throughout the next day, is when you pay the emotional price and physical price.

That's the trap, is why a drinker can't stop at 1 beer, cause you want to keep going so that you don't feel even worse than you did before drinking.

Nothing worse to a drinker than that 1 or 2 beer feeling or whatever you're drinking, that right at the edge of being drunk, but not quite there, that feeling is pointless to a drinker.

It's like going to the top of a rollercoaster and stopping at the crest, the top, and then getting out and walking back down.

There's a lot of phycology behind heavy drinkers.

And no 'experts' are needed, all you have to do is read these posts, first hand accounts.

Ye, not so enthused about being sober anymore at the moment, just not.

Why does the face have to look so different than our bodies?

Body looks great, no fat, yet face always look droopy and tired, why the f is that?

It's like the face always shows our true age, body can look 20 or 19 or 24, yet face always looks 10 years older or more, why the f is that?

It's depressing.

Even when I don't drink, seems my face still looks as if I do, when I get up in the morning.

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So ye, I don't know, it's like my happiness from being sober has peaked, lost around a good solid 21 lbs or so, and just seem to hoover around that weight.

Don't get me wrong, I come to delight in being more slender, but I don't know, I need to remotivate myself to not start drinking again.

I need a new motivator.

How have my struggles with alcohol gone lately?



Compared to some, I probably don't struggle with alcohol, but me knowing personally I could do better without it, is what I base my struggles on.

For the most part, alcohol is no longer apart of my personal must do every second I'm not working mindset...those days are pretty much done.

But every now and then I'll get really lonely, and start drinking beer, and if not working the next day, will drink beer again, to forget that drinking makes me feel bad, and that's how the trap begins.

Luckly though, this slippage usually always broken and interrupted by work...work is like a reset.

For the most part I'm happy with my progress, but when do drink again, at times, can sometimes see the effects come back quickly, as in lack of wanting to do anything else and or not looking as good to self in the mirror.

Drinking 3 or more times a week will bring about mental and physical changes, I notice.

Drinking once a week, say one day a week where just let lose and drink like there's no tomorrow, if done only once a week, very little disruption to physical or mental...but few have that discipline to just drink once a week and stop, cause it always leads to more.

Once a month only, would be ideal, if must drink at all.

But there were other habits, worse than drinking, I think I was doing, that I also cut out, many foods with certain daming ingredients in them, as in processed snack foods, and sweet sugary drinks, as in gatoraide, Arizona Tea, you name it, any and all drinks purchased from the store have bad stuff in them, don't care how 'natural' product claims to be, they all have preservatives in them or would rot.

Every make pure fruit juice in a blender? If so, notice how quickly it'll spoil if not refrigerated?

The only reason why the stuff we buy from stores don't spoil is cause they're loaded with preservatives, like embalming fluid for food...think about that.

When people die, funeral homes preserve them with embalming fluid, well the food industry does the same with food, so it can ship and not spoil, then we digest that crap, and long term effects aren't good.

So I cut all that stuff out of my diet.

Beer, in and of itself isn't that bad, I'm convinced it's more of the stuff we eat and drink around alcohol, that's actually bad, and alcohol just compounds it, and or makes us ignore other symptoms.

Anyways, time to get up, make some herbal tea, and start trying to make the most of the day that has been given to me yet again.

Because I drank late into the night yesterday, I have no creativity in me today, I just feel down and out, with low moral.

And I'll probably have a few more beers cause I got to work tomorrow, and no need in just sitting around feeling all down.

I can't turn my mood or bad fortunes around by bedtime, so may as well have a few beers, I guess.

And usually going back to work provides a non drinking buffer, and gives me a chance to rebound, cause I work such long hours that don't have time or energy to drink when I get in.

I was doing very well for a while there, not drinking, good health, and then it's like I just sabotaged myself by drinking again, all it takes is one errant thought or being in the wrong mood.

I wish I had never ever started drinking, sure I've had some fun times, but drinking really stole a lot of opportunities from me in the past, cause I'd rather drink than apply here, or get this job, or show up here or there...drinking really hogged my life for around 12 years or so, I can only wonder what I'd be like now if never started drinking?

I doubt any of this writing would of occured, or even this forum, a lot wouldn't be here creatively, if I didn't start drinking, but still I wonder what my other life would of been like had I never started drinking.

Sometimes I think it's the ingredients in the food we eat, that are more damaging to our bodies than alcohol as in beer and wine ect.

It's the crap they put in food, flavoring, coloring ect, that I do believe way more damaging to body than a few beers a week or day.

If there's a score card right now, the 'devil' is totally winning