The Bar, thoughts around alcohol and it's vices

I'm doing the sober thing now, not drinking, where as in the past I would, especially on a night like tonight.

But since not drinking tonight, just in a weird mental zone.

You see in the past, right now I'd be drinking or drunk. Being drunk took care of itself.

How can I put that a different way?

When drunk, you just 'do', you don't sit around thinking about what you should do.

When drinking or drunk, you don't sit around, like I am now, trying to find your mood, cause when drinking, being drunk is the mood.

But now that drinking isn't apart of my routine anymore, I night like tonight feels different cause I pay way more attention to my mood and thoughts, where as when drunk or drinking, I didn't have to.

Even though sober right now, I feel a bit grouchy, and jacked up, full of natural herbal tea type of energy.

I feel a bit irritable.

In the past I'd be drunk or drinking right now, out of it, acting goofy, silly, whatever, creating some kind of film art.

But right now, I don't feel like doing any of that, right now, I feel edgy and impatient.

I mean I guess that's good, if engaged in something important, but to just be at home, full of energy, with nothing really going on, just kind of makes me feel grouchy.

Here's what I don't get about self when it pertains to booze

I've been sober now long enough to see the tremendously good effects being sober has on my, my mindset and my body.

That being said, knowing that, why the hell would I still chose to drink on occasion?

Why why why?

Alcohol cannot take me any place I haven't already been, which is basically down, so why, knowing that, would I still chose to drink?

I've lost weight, I look better, all the pain in body has pretty much gone away, I have way more energy. I've been taking herbs, making tea out of them, all this and more, yet seems I'm still able to slip back into drinking at times knowing goodness well what awaits.



It's like when I drink I just transform, I turn into something else, other expressions come out of me, and it's like they yearn to come out, and I guess make me feel as if I need to drink to bring them out.

But I want to learn to bring out my creative side while sober, kind of the way actors do in movies, or performers do on Broadway, or at a opera. They don't have to get drunk in order for their creative sides to come out, so why should I?

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The whole thing is very complex, any one who's tried to stop drinking knows what I mean.

Their issues may be different than mine, but the temptation to always fall back on a drink is the common struggle we all have.

Not drinking even makes my job easier.
I work long hours when I do have to work, and when in drinking mode, well, you know how that is, if use to drinking, you start to get grouchy if go to many hours without a drink, and your energy level plummets, so you're more tired and drowsy before shift is over. And or any pain associated with drinking.

But when I don't drink, my energy level is sustained throughout the shift, thus I'm happier....so why would I want to sabatoge that?

Again, I don't know, one day I'll share it all in a book.

Addiction man, there's many reasons for it, I'm just glad all I struggle with, from time to time, is alcohol and not harder type drugs that many others struggle with.

But still, maybe they to can relate to what's posted in this section.

Fine tuning ones health goes far beyond just not drinking

I realize now that fine tuning my health goes far beyond just not drinking.
Drinking simply nums you to all the other bad health practices you may have.

Now that I don't drink nearly as much, I'm much more acute to the effects food has on my health and even my mood.

Everything evolves around the foods we eat, and our bodies ability to process it.
And I notice with me now, the reason why my mood is so different during my work cycles is not so much the job itself, but rather it's the foods I eat while out and about at work, in other words the culprit is all junk food!

The chemicals they put in snack foods would amaze most, you'd think they were bomb ingredients are something if didn't know better.

Today, while at work, during the course of work, I ate the following

1. chocolate zingers, 2, there's 3 in a package, I ate 2 of 3.

2. deli corn dogs, and packages of ketchup and mustard with it.

3. Store bought tuna sandwich with cranbarries in it.

That's what I ate today while out and about at work during my long shift, and that's all it took though to greatly alter my mood.

It may seem laughable to some, but the combined toxic chemicals in the above 3 food items has effected my mood, energy level and more.

My body has to process all that junk, like break it down to it's base chemical level, and when you look at it like that what exactly are the ingredients in the above 3?

If I were to list the ingredients of all of them it would stun you, and even me, cause if it's man made, and made to sit on a shelf, there's preservatives and coloring, and 'taste' chemical involved, all stuff that would read out like bomb ingredients if didn't know better.

Most of us convince ourselves that if we just eat a small amount of junk food, that that's OK, well I'm realizing that it's not OK.

I need to eliminate junk food from my diet all together!

And that will be a challenge equally if not more hard than giving up alcohol.

But now that I see the cause and effect of eating natural food vs anything on the shelf at a store, it will be easier for me to take on this battle.

Because I've felt what it's like to have a totally clean body, free from booze and free from junk food, I've had a taste of that.

To feel good physically, no pain, to have energy buzzing, I've felt that over the last few weeks, and I'll be darn if going to go backwards now.

Cause when have energy, aren't in any pain, it just makes everything else so much easier, even my job.

So now, now that I've declared war on alcohol, now I must declare war on the eating of junk food, and I know the results will be wonderful.

And the worse things are for us, industry tries to cover up through 'flavoring'...think about that one long and hard.

Flavoring chemical are some of the biggest culprits in our bad health, disease and more.

It almost makes me upset, I mean it does make me upset, cause someone like me should just be another statistic by now, dead and gone already probably, but instead I'm not, and I write about everything, no expert needed.

we're all our own experts if would just pay attention to the details of our life, or in this case our health.

And it annoys me how so many are conditioned to just go run off to the doctor over the slightest thing, and just hand over our health to 'industry', the ones who put us there in the first place.

I never go to the doctor?, why should I?

I heal myself by just paying attention, and then altering dietary habits and other things.

Sure, when a bit older, I'm sure there'll be a time when I'll have to go to the doctor, but until then I really don't.

Trauma doctors are the exception, you know, the kind that sew you up after a physical accident, to me, those are true doctors.

And surgeons of course, but outside of trauma doctors and surgeons, most doctors are just theorist.