Lifes Journal

So what is my plan going forward??

What is my plan going forward, I ask myself.

1. I know I can't out earn the cost of living, but I can cheat the cost of living by cutting back on certain luxuries and learning to live 'raw' again.

And that's basically it.
I know I never again want to waste money on rent, once current lease expires, as such, that means...

1. Buying a used RV/Motorhome
2. Buying, paying cash for, land, as in 5-20 acres, unzoned land where I can park a RV and no issues.

Also though, I'd obviously have to continue to work, be employed, but at least with everything paid off, my pay checks will/would, go a lot further.

And with everything paid off, I could be much pickier over where I did decide to work...which = freedom going forward.

Whatever years I have left on this earth, all I really want is freedom, freedom to do, please, as I feel. I don't want to be a wage slave, like so many older people are or become.

It's up to me to forge a better/brighter future for myself, and it all depends on the decisions I make.
That's scary actually, cause not exactly known for making the best decisions in the past.
We shall see.

Sometimes I think my worst enemy in this world is me.

Major update

This is like a major update to my life.
I had to move, do to an extensive apartment fire.
8 units in total deemed unlivable.
My world has been turned upside down, sure.
All my passwords, cords, this that, years of stuff, gone, years of stuff that made my life on earth tolerable, gone.
Although, they may let us back in soon, to salvage whatever we can.
And on top of that, I have to fly to Pittsburg tomorrow cause told guy I would before all this happened, so in the middle of my own stress and drama, I have to help another person...wow.

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I'm in new place now, don't really like it, don't feel as safe here, not even.
The fire happened on Thursday...only managed to get a few things out.
And just now able to get back online. It's been hell, my own personal hell.
Writing is what soothes me, and when cut off from that, it's hard.
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Plus I had just started film school, and was on a roll, and then this happened.
All my books, passwords, ect, lost, unless can retrieve or reset, but again, tomorrow have to fly out for a few days, and drive a bus back, for a guy, who wants to make a documentary about stuff.
My feelings have been all over the place...rebuild?
Rebuild what, I thought, just so something else bad can happen?

But unless dying or commit suicide, you really have no choice but to go forward.
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My life has been turned upside down, I had everything right, in my last place, monitors, wall projectors, so I could see.
I need all that back, cause staring into a small laptop screen or cell phone screen doesn't do it for me.
Hopefully, within 3 weeks, I can have most of the basics restored, but I live in not the best area, so not trying to get stuff, just to have it stolen...these people around here are snakes, the younger urban types.
It's like prison without walls here.
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I'm drinking right now, and shouldn't be, since gotta get up early and catch a flight.
Then catch a cab about 50 miles, then go to a dealer and pick up a bus...wow, then drive it back like 900 miles, if it even makes it.
My life sucks right now, to me.
Anyways, just getting out some writing energy since been away for so long.
Stuff is happening way to quick.
Like I've always said, 'time is my enemy', the future is always my enemy, it's all of our enemy.
To be continued whenever, when I get back from trip.

Radical momentary lifestyle change...I say momentary cause it's been short, so far.

I have a real sudden sense of urgency, and so have stopped drinking, I'm working out daily now, and just utilizing my time much better.
Where will it lead? I don't know, maybe I'm just fooling myself, maybe my time has long been done and over and maybe I'm just residue blowing around....I don't know, but I do know I'm still here, and have a mind and thoughts and a personality and emotions...and so while still here, all I can do is live.

I can plan, I can plot, but ultimately fate has the final word and say on the outcome.

Boeing space capsules re-entry into the Earth's orbit delayed, again



This story just seemed to drop from the news the last few days...so I typed in..
'Did Boeing capsule return to Earth yet?'
And apparently it hasn't, and has been delayed indefinitely.
That's not a good sign.

I mean think about it, if those astronauts get fried upon re-entry, that will be the end of Boeing as we know it.
That would be the worst public image disaster ever suffered by any company, so that fact they're keeping them up there means they, Boeing, is very scared and uncertain of a safe return.

Will they be rescued by Space X or some other privately owned space company?
Or by Japan, or China or Russia?

Time will tell.

I've wasted a ton of time on two thing in the past

1. Drinking

2. The internet/social media

And now I'm trying to steer clear of both, the best I can.

I've got internet burnout, for real.
And social media...gag...so sick of the control games.

Social media has turned into the most bias medium out there.

At first, everyone given a fair share of views...but then the silicon valley snakes weaved their way in and started playing favorites, and after that social media has never been the same.

Most of those who post have been reduced to nothing more than babbling idiots, one line idiots, with no follow up, nothing...one and done comments.

And you read those comments while all your info being harvested by 3rd and 4th and 5th and 10 party 'partners'....

Sell your soul and privacy just to see yourself type a comment online...no thanks.

At least here it's quiet.

Amazing how much better people treat you when they think you're loaded, have money.