Lifes Journal

A blast from the past, boy how things have changed, the above post way back in 2015, was Kayaking back then, wow, wow, compared to now my life, or activities in my life, are about non existent.

Back then I didn't surf the web so much, maybe that's why, I think social media tends to rob us of real life living.

When you're dumb, you're just dumb



When you're dumb about something you're just dumb about it, no matter how long you spend trying to conquer it until properly educated about it.

I'm referring to self, of course, and my struggles to figure out how to upload a video 'zip' file to a website, not sure why this particular site has to make it so difficult.
So I've wasted maybe 2 hours trying to learn how, online instruction, video, this and that, and it still won't work.

And of course the so called 24/7 help line is not that, plus it's Sunday, the worst time for anything to go wrong.

It's also why I hesitate to give my card info to any site where you can never get a hold of anyone, or that doesn't have any physical address, they could drain you, and no matter 1 month later you finally get in contact with them, your moneys gone, life has been ruined.

They're like 'Give us your card number', yet can never contact support...nope.

I usually go as far as I can in joining a online place without paying, until I see how supportive or non supportive their staff is.

Also hate online sites, say 'upload and downsize file for FREE', so then when you do 'Oops, file to large, check out pricing options'..

I mean how sleazy, sleaze seems to be common in the tech world these days, the best shysters go into the tech industry where they look at the rest of as being hyper dumb.

And they're right, most of us are very hyper dumb when it comes to those into the computer science field, coding, programing, the rest of us must seem so very hyper dumb to them.

Oh well, time to get on with the day, I'm sure it won't be long before I get stumbled by some other roadblock due to me being so dumb about so many things.

I get home from work and just feel so mentally beat.

I thought life would be different, long ago, should I ever have thought of reaching my current age.

For one, I just figured I'd come home feeling happier.
Thought I'd maybe come home to 'Love', instead of nothing.

Thought maybe the phone would be still ringing off the hook from people who actually liked me, wanted to do stuff together, as it was in middle and high school, no such luck, now just get 'Likely spam call' messages on phone.

I guess I thought I'd have kids, a regular 5-bedroom home in a regular 9-5 neighborhood.

What happened?

I don't know, I tried, I wanted, it evaded.

And now look.

As usual, had all this stuff wanted to write about while at work, then as soon as get home, mind is just shot.
All I want to do is rest thy mind for a few, then I'll be recharged a bit.

In a 'buy a new or newer car' mood, not good, or is it?



Wanting a new car when you don't need one is a sign of desperation, at least that's how I see it.

I mean when nothing else is going right, then turn to the new car thing, why?
Cause owning a new car gives you instant gratification, and it's a point of success you can see and get in daily, it's just there...it's yours.

It's a moral booster, a confidence builder, until the payments start coming in.

Everything is good until those payments start rolling in.

And 250-350 a month may not seem like much at first, but at about 4 months in it will and does, and those payments begin effecting other areas of your life.

With payments, now you can't just tell your boss to shove it, cause now, yes, kind of need that job, and whenever you're in need of something it makes you more of a slave.

I don't need that trap or snare right now.

I already have a car, but it's not new, or cool anymore, but it works.
And I don't have payments which allows me to relax more and not be so stressed or feel that I NEED a job.

Not having payments gives me more choices, makes me feel like I'm more in control.

But still, it's tempting to try to get a new car again, to have some desperate sales person do all they can to make the deal happen.

It's temping, that's for sure, especially when still young enough, and still fit enough, and sexy enough to self where it matters.

continued from above (new car thoughts)

Or, if going to get new car, I at least need to create another stream of income, like airbnb, or something, to know that I have enough side income coming in to absorb the monthly payments.

Bottom line, what I don't want or need right now is extra stress.
Stress is not good.
Right now my life is average and dull, but at least I'm not stressing over bills, and that effects your health as well, as you age.

I just don't need stress right now, so if can't do something easy, don't really want to do it all all, where finances are concerned.