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Post by Jupiter on Sept 26, 2022 11:03:25 GMT
Morning time thoughts Morning time thoughts
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 26, 2022 11:06:27 GMT
I received a hug for the first time in years the other night, and from all people it was from a shirtless muscular street guy, probably a felon.
Why did they hug me?
Cause I bought them and his two companions some beer and a blunt, no big deal to me, but I guess to them it was.
But looking back, I realize what I did was very dangerous and stupid.
I always do stupid and dangerous things when I'm drunk.
Sure, it went well, but looking back, I wish I hadn't of done that.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 26, 2022 11:09:37 GMT
My path in life just doesn't make sense to me anymore.
I don't even no what I'm doing anymore, other than going through the motions of work, employment, side hobbies, and still being dumb enough that one day, just one day, I'll get 'that break', that life changing break.
Why do I keep thinking that one day, just one day, things will swing my way?
Hope I guess, for without hope, then what?
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 26, 2022 11:14:26 GMT
I've never felt so detached from the world around as I have the past few years.
I never go out anymore other than to grocery shop or to go buy beer at local corner stores, but beyond that I never go anywhere.
I guess with the internet I don't have to.
But people with full lives are out and about all the time, fishing, boating, traveling, I do none of that.
I mean when single, where do you go?
And if walk around by yourself, as a male, people think you're odd.
I have no friends, and no one ever calls to just say 'hello'.
I just exist, in a bubble, and outside of the few days a week I work, it's like I'm not even here.
I will have lived as if never existed.
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Post by Jupiter on Oct 15, 2022 10:51:53 GMT
I have to work today. Remember that movie 'Drag me to Hell'? Well that's how I feel like every time I have to leave the relative safety of my own place and head off, out there, to work, I feel like I'm being dragged off into hell.  |
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Post by Jupiter on Oct 16, 2022 13:53:51 GMT
I woke up this morning feeling like I was in a whole different dimension, I slept long, hard and late, after working long hours the last two days, and then having one 1 1/2 beers before going to bed last night.
And I think I dreamed of Michael Jackson in different forms, or others trying to immitate him.
I don't know, the mind is odd, every day is the same, the only thing that changes is our moods, and how the mind percieves things.
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Post by Jupiter on Oct 20, 2022 10:54:46 GMT
The alarm clock song becomes the ugliest song after a while, after associated with waking up to go to a job your soul despises.
That aside, cooler weather has finally arrived where I stay, but it's still an off and on thing.
Can start off in the 40's in the morning, then reach low 80's by 2 pm, then return to cold at night, makes dressing up for the day a pain.
Not sure why housewives fought so hard to be able to come out here into the world and work sucky azz jobs, believe me you, I'd much rather stay home than do what I have to do to earn a check.
Grass always looks greener on the other side.
Although I could see where staying home all the time could also drive one mad, always having to beg for money and all.
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Post by Jupiter on Oct 29, 2022 12:29:42 GMT
When you sit down, look at the clock, just trying to find yourself, then notice only have minutes before have to rush out there into 'hell', the world, and go to work.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 12, 2022 12:28:09 GMT
I feel like I've awakened in a different dimension.
The mind, it's all about the mind.
Nature is the same every day, as in the raw elements, the sun, dirt, gravel, trees, it's our perception of the world around us that changes, not really the world itself.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 12, 2022 12:30:08 GMT
I do know that modern life often moves along at a pace that's not so healthy, at least for me it isn't, not now anyways.
Everyone's different, and at different phases in life.
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Post by Jupiter on Dec 20, 2022 16:14:29 GMT
 About to get out of bed and place my feet on the ground, and can only wonder what today has in store for me. If anything like yesterday, probably not much at all. |
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Post by Jupiter on Jan 7, 2023 12:57:59 GMT
 I woke up feeling really refreshed this morning, or better yet half woke up lying in bed mode. But compared to yesterday night, evening, I felt so refreshed, certain it was the weekend and I was off...wrong. I have to work today, or scheduled to work today. Body chemistry is odd, which effects our moods. And everything effects our moods from food, to dreams, to personal encounters to fitness, hope, joy, rest and more. And speaking of dreams, I did have a bunch of good ones, or very interactive ones. I think my dreams make up for the lack of interaction I have with others in real life, my dreams give me the social life I really need and quench. Social interaction with others is a healthy thing, but real life doesn't always deliver that to us, especially as you age. As you age, outside of your own family, people just seem to discard you more and more as not mattering. Another place people find social interaction is, yes, at work, or in a career...but not everyone has a job where that's provided. I most certainly do not. I get in a truck and drive all day, alone. anyways, the day is here, and so am I, still, so let me get on with it. |
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Post by Jupiter on Jan 7, 2023 13:01:42 GMT
Also, I finally activated the 'do not disturb' feature on phone, so now like after 10 pm through 7 am, no calls, text sounds, ect, on phone.
Cause I'm tired of being ripped out of sleep by bogus calls, or texts sounds on the phone.
Rest is so very important to your physical and mental health.
And if no one is bringing me news that helps me to personally prosper, then, at this stage of my existence, whatever else they have to say doesn't matter to me anymore.
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Post by Jupiter on Jan 25, 2023 12:19:27 GMT
Sometimes it's hard for me to believe 'God' still allows me to live and exist 
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Post by Jupiter on Jan 27, 2023 10:41:31 GMT
It's still dark out
Still dark out, but I awoke do to a semi-nightmare, and can't fall back to sleep.
So, that means I need to bleed off some thoughts to clear thy mind.
If I were ever a sleep therapist I would for sure tell people if you lay in bed, and cannot sleep, then learn to bleed off thoughts through writing, thus clearing the mind.
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