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Post by Jupiter on Apr 26, 2024 12:05:59 GMT
These last few weeks have really shown me how out of shape my mind is, how utterly out of shape my whole existence is, and how lazy I've gotten over the decade or decades, from doing the same mundane, unchallenging things over and over again, as in just working dull jobs, working around dull uninspiring people, drinking when off from work, and just complaining to myself about 'what if', or what I could have become.
So many, not just myself, fall into that trap.
I've been so alienated from 'progress' over the last few decades, so alienated from real relationships, and instead stuck in the dead zone of existence.
Well, all that's slowly changing now, as I have immersed myself in 'school', yes at my age, which seems kind of odd, crazy, or whatever.
Point is though, is that I'm trying to rebirth myself, later in life, and it feels a bit weird.
Either way, life is short.
Soon, maybe, I'll share all these writing with a institute that I think could do something with it.
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Post by Jupiter on Jul 8, 2024 13:07:19 GMT
Just got up.Not in the most positive mood. I think what we eat has a lot to do with our moods. I think the chemicals they put in meat, or foods in general, can effect our moods. I ate popcorn before going to bed in the early morning. Anyways, regardless, I just don't feel so hopeful about anything this Monday morning.And I haven't had a drink in 7 days, yet I woke up feeling down and right near depressed, as if nothing ever will work out, and that I'm just fooling myself thinking otherwise. I just woke up feeling like 'Why am I even still here?'...as in what purpose could I have anymore, if ever had one. Bill Gates had, has purpose, Trump has, had purpose, Miles Davis, the trumpet player had purpose, Jimmie Hendrix had purpose, heck, even Elvis had purpose...what purpose do I have, heck my YT videos don't even get views anymore, and my art matters to no one...or at least it's not allowed to be seen do to control of view distribution by google and other online valves that make common people undiscoverable anymore. The internet was fun a decade ago cause everyone was discoverable...not anymore, greed and commerce has taken over the internet and slimmed it up...as in slime. Anyways, first order of business is I gotta go to the bank and get debt card activated again cause I thought I lost my wallet on Saturday night, when it was actually in the fridge....I was so upset I even cursed god. Now I gotta go to the bank and stand around folks that will annoy the hell out of me, and I'm sure me them as well. It's Monday, yuk.  www.spreaker.com/episode/52762339
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 15, 2024 4:11:51 GMT
Wow, can't believe it's 12:08 am already, which makes it morning time..wow.
I've been sober more than drunk lately, and it's weird, being sober feels like I'm 'high', it's like I'm rediscovering what it's like to actually be alive and feel what your body has to offer.
It's just a weird feeling, the energy and all that comes from being sober and not knowing what to do with it.
Wanting to sleep, out of habit, but not being able to do to the energy that comes from being healthy and sober.
All I'm missing now is my sexual drive...D'oh!
Anyways, it's after midnight now, and still full of energy...wow...wow.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 18, 2024 11:53:41 GMT
Inside bug zapper review
Bug zappers work inside just as well.
Zap those deviant bugs that fly around in your room at night when the lights are off.
I should of thought of this long ago.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 1, 2024 4:47:18 GMT
Interesting video on how to invest $1000 dollars
The narrator gives multiple ways you can invest and earn with just $1000 dollars.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 5, 2024 12:40:55 GMT
Well, it's morning time.
The last thing I feel like doing is working out, which probably means I should.
I drank Tuesday night, so just laid around all day yesterday, can't fall back into that habit.
But I did workout on 3 separate occassions the day I drank.
But it's really easy to become what I call 'Alcohol lazy', where you drink, then the next day aren't intersted is doing anything or seeing anyone.
Buy yeah, maybe I'll go take a quick bike ride here in a bit before it heats up to much out there.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 6, 2024 14:38:02 GMT
Yep, it's Friday alright Yep, it's Friday alright, and by gosh, I'm still here, some how, some way, I'm still here and still apart of this conscious stream. That being said, this morning got up and fried some eggs...I think it's the first time I've done that since my other apartment caught fire. The stove top oven I use now is out of wack. They heating elements are all dysfunctional, and only go super hot or off. And my a/c fan won't turn off, so have to turn the breaker off. Not sure how much longer I'll be here so haven't made any maintenance requests.
Took a late night walk last night, it was slightly raining, more like drizzling, had umbrella with me. It was a nice relaxing walk. I just can't come home and stay cramped up inside, I don't know how people do it, come home and just stay inside the whole time...not me, I gotta movie, walk, bike. Anyways, after this will groom, get dressed and go to the store and spend money. Then, who knows, I don't have the most exciting life...I'll probably study, and finish film school related stuff. Film school my azz, more like film sham, online course. I pay the salaries of others and in turn I get nothing...oh well. It's Friday, I'm here, so may as well live while alive.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 7, 2024 6:00:26 GMT
What a weird early morning, what a weird odd day period.
Going through old emails and apartment office has or had me mixed up with someone else, as if someone else stole my identity or something...and of course it's the weekend, their closed, so have to wait till Tuesday to see what's going on...but not gonna dwell on it.
In this world, you can be doing everything right and evil will still seek you out and create chaos in your life through the incompetence or fraud of another.
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I was in a very good mood earlier today, now, I don't know, I feel like I'm in a hellish type of Twilight Zone.
But at least I didn't drink, but I did take some kind of Viagra pill, a white one, that doctor sent, and it didn't do a thing...all the stuff I heard about it from testimonials, etc, and when I took it, not a thing, other than I felt more open to others, friendly, talkative...
Seems the effects went to my brain instead of my ____, just my like.
I thought I'd feel like I did when I was 19, not even...and now I feel less horny now than I did before I took the pill...what a sham.
At least I didn't have to pay for it or I'd be very upset and want my money back.
Anyways, as usual I didn't get a dm thing done yesterday/today.
The day doesn't end until I go to sleep...that's how I measure a day.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 23, 2024 6:14:24 GMT
Drank, went to bed/sleep, woke up at around 1 am, now it's around 2 am and some change.
I managed to waste yet another day.
I'm smart, yet technically stupid in that I'm an expert at nothing, yet wise in physiology...but couldn't put together a motor if it fell apart, or explain avionics, or space travel, or the ingredients in food.
I'm a scientific dunce, and my brain refuses to learn complex things, seems I've been that way since a kid.
Anyways, awake now, sitting up now...watching a few Twilight Zone episodes, and just realizing how utterly useless and dumb I am to society and myself.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 23, 2024 6:18:37 GMT
My brain is like stuck on stupid, and I don't know what to do about it.
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Post by Jupiter on Oct 12, 2024 14:32:15 GMT
OK, it's time for me to get up and find inspiration from wherever I can find it from, cause in my world, isn't a soul going to feel sorry for me if I get this wrong, and could, but still gotta march on.
Life transitions just aren't easy, especially as you age, and you see less and less of a future for anything even mattering, at least when alone.
When alone, you tend to feel like your suffer and struggle just because, and for no particular reason.
It's why family is so important later on in life, cause you feel like you're fighting for something, a cause, other than to simply exist.
But when don't have a family, well, you have to be creative at what you think inspires you, even if you have to invent an imaginary family or unit, within your own mind.
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Post by Jupiter on Oct 27, 2024 6:12:51 GMT
It's like 2:08 am in the morning.
I don't know what happened today (Yes, to me it's still 'today', until I go to bed, the day lasts as long as I'm awake)
So I could of gone with the late night section, since to me it's still night time, even though it's technically the next day.
That aside...I don't know, fell into a odd mood as the day progressed.
I stayed sober today, even worked out earlier on my bike, stretched, walked.
Just in a odd physiological mood today, and now I think the day's over for me.
Now 'bed time' part of day begins, where I lay in bed and watch TV for another hour or so or less.
Maybe I'll pop some popcorn before I lay down.
I'm watching Z nation again, it's a pretty good older Zombie series that use to air on SyFy channel.
Way better than the walking dead series.
I think I'd rather deal with zombies than mans bs and greed.
Greed makes everyone's life hellish and near unbearable at times.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 5, 2024 7:07:12 GMT
Early morning thoughts Well, I think it's about time for bed.My air mattress is beginning to deflate, ever so slowly, but it has a built in pump. It's lasted for a good 6 months, longer than I expected. --------------------- Not a very exciting day, my days start late and end late. Haven't been employed in some good long time, and trying to develop a online business, it's a big task for sure. It will be a subscription-based type of business, otherwise it's a waste of time. If it works, I won't have to physically work anymore...if it doesn't work, than it'll be just yet another thing I failed at in life. If it doesn't work, I'll be ready for the grave, quite frankly...cause I can't think of anything else I want to do in life anymore other than just work for myself, at home, and away from the noise 'out there'. Many people, the way they behave, and the way some look, just gross me out now days. Especially women, with their weird vampire claws, mainly urban women. I'm not gay, but certain styles women display today just totally turn me the hell off, especially urban ____ women or females, it's like they're from another planet...I don't get their fashion sense at all. --------------------------- Anyways it's late, my mind is all but about shut down...been snacking all day...I don't think that's good to constantly snack. I did workout earlier and no beer today, as in since I've been awake, even though technically it's tomorrow. The election is today, I've already voted, glad I did, cause it may be the last time I ever vote in a presidential election ever again. I don't really see myself being here 4 years from now unless things really change for the better. Anyways, let me wrap this post up and wind it on down, transition into the bed, the laying down position and see what the world of dreams brings me.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 10, 2024 16:17:20 GMT
Sunday It's Sunday. I'm not in the best of moods, but not in the worst of moods either, just kind of here. Have energy, yes, but my mind is burdened. Haven't enough time to fill you in on everything, but as usually, stress usually comes from the feeling of running out of both money and time...and that's what I'm dealing with. On the door front of possible a innovative money making idea, but then here comes time and money...running out of both. And the idea of returning to some gdm low wage job, which will eat up all my energy and time, annoys the living hell out of me. To go back to being reduced to a wage earner, someone low level mindless employee is a hellish proposition to me, especially when on the verge of possibly becoming a millionaire soon. A millionaire vs some low level slave job, you'd be frustrated to if you saw the stakes. Anyhow, one day at a lousy time I suppose.
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Post by Jupiter on Nov 11, 2024 14:51:25 GMT
Went to bed to late and got up to early, going to lay back down here soon.
You cannot start your day drowsy and expect to be productive.
That aside, I'm up.
Some older dude was supposed to call and we go over maybe them helping me with my new online business.
Then I get a 1-800 call, and of course I don't answer.
Then see where they texted earlier about calling them around 10 pm.
It's not going to happen.
Red flags are going off, I no longer trust them.
Not saying they're some tricky bill collector, but something doesn't feel right.
When someone is suppose to call you, and then they turn around and want you to call them, that sounds like they need time to prepare for something, to maybe record your conversation..either way I don't trust it.
My instincts are keen when it comes to stuff like that...not to mention they replied to an ad of mine over C/L
What is a successful person doing scanning c/l?
And they claimed they don't have a email.
What successful person doesn't have a email?
I don't trust them.
Not only that, but since when does someone who's responding to an add to come work for you, turn around and then want you to call them instead?
That would be like me telling a hiring manager at Walmart or Target to 'Hey, call me back around 10 pm.
So already, even if they aren't a bill collector, I don't like that disrespect.
Sure, I could use some help, but I'd rather do it alone, than deal with slimy people or liars.
If I can't trust them now, don't feel good about them now, than I sure won't in the future when I tell them secretive stuff about the company I want to form.
They will not get that call from me, could care the less...life will be challenging for a while, but hey, I'm tough, I've gotten this far all by myself.
One reason I've gotten this far is because I haven't invited any weasels into my life, or fate just hasn't allowed it.
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