Boring Wednesday

What a boring dull day of the week Wednesday is for me.

And on top of that for me it's like my Monday.

Not much going on, got in a bit earlier than I usually do, but so what, it's my Monday so can't get into much tonight, don't have that 24/7 energy I did years ago, although I think it's about what you do.

I mean if you just labor, that doesn't stimilate the mind, but say if you're around fun other people, sexy people, whether on the job or at play, than you probably do have more sustained energy.

But for me, just laboring or driving all day, just saps me, it mentally saps me of my energy cause I work alone, just me and machine.

Anyways, time for a quick awake nap, where I just sit back and rest for a minute or to and then try to make the most of this evening.

I worked today, just got in.
What a long useless day, I no longer find any fulfilment in my job, it's simply a pay check arrangement.

I work, I get paid, and that's it.

But it pays well enough, and I get enough time off, that I stay.

But want a life where I just don't have to punch another's time card, where I can just earn passive income...easier said than done.

Even thinking about the airbnb thing, cleaning out back room, and renting it, but even that costs.

Was looking at beds yesterday and cheapest I could find was for around $550 or so at Mattress firm, and from there it went up.
My guest would have a better bed than I have now.

Nothings cheap anymore, and to make money have to spend money.

I'd have to go in the hole about a gran, and then spend the next 2-3 months trying to earn that back.

And if that didn't work out than maybe just a perminant roommate, who knows, I just know I'm tired of my job, the labor, the bummed out mood going to work and getting off from work always has me in.

I just need a change soon, and I guess only I can make that happen.

Yep, it's Wedensday, raining out, Ukraine war going on, and I'm home now.

Ye, my mood has totally changed since yesterday, I think I'll call that dealership and tell them I can't make it.


click to enlarge

I was going to possibly look at these 3 vehicles, but today totally not in the mood to do so.

It's not good to place priorities on your mood, not that getting a newer nicer vehicle is a priority.

But am saying if something is important enough to you, your mood won't affect your doing it.

Plus I got to work tomorrow and don't want to spend my last day off stressing over getting a new car, that's what you do on your 1st day off, not your last day off.

I was off this Wednesday, but have to work tomorrow.

Which means have to work for the next 3 days in a row, gross.

But hey, I need an income...gross.

Yesterday I bought a used pickup truck, that was the highlight of my time off, this time I actually accomplished something I set out to do.

It's not a perfect truck, and will probably need a clutch soon.

But it's not intended to be a daily driver type of vehicle.

I can afford a new clutch...the bodies good, the interiors good, and the engine is good.

I only paide 3,800 for it.

I've been stressing over getting a new or newer vehicle for a month now, and at first wanted a brand new Dodge Challenger.

But after thinking about it, decided to I needed a pickup truck, not a sports car with payments.

I mean there were a lot of 'cash' cars that looked pretty decent that I could of gotten, but in the end getting another car would of been pointless.

I needed a pickup truck, why?

Cause I have no one to call upon if I need help moving, other than to pay movers.

And a pickup truck will open up my life more, just having it means I can now finish clearing junk out of my place, and or even start going to flea market again and selling stuff for profit.

-----------------------------------

But I did drink yesterday.



And am now feeling the effects, the depressive after effects, which makes you want to drink even more to forget how you feel.

But since I work tomorrow, I doubt I will.

If could do again, I would not of drank yesterday. It's just I felt like celebrating the fact that I got new pickup truck.
The fact that finally in a long while I did something I said I was going to do and actually got physical results.

I needed a victory yesterday and got one...but then blew it by drinking, which has kind of spun my mood into a different direction.

I have a can of opened beer sitting in front of me as I type this, but haven't drank it yet, and probably won't.

If I do, I'll feel goofy and light for maybe an hour, but then come tomorrow, yuck, since will have to wake up early.

So, i probably won't drink it and just sulk in this post drinking feeling or mood I'm in.

It's not really mood, it's just that after drink effect where you're body just feels a bit 'yuk'...my mood is fine, but still your mood often follows they way your body is feeling.

I think I'll put the can of beer in the fridge, and once I start work tomorrow, beer won't even be on my mind and can reset my sobriety trend once off work again.

Nothing stood out about this Wednesday, just a long dull draining workday.
And have to do it again tomorrow.
About to go to bed, where hopefully I'll wake up refreshed and with some optimism.

Wednesday



It's Wednesday and I feel really crummy today because I've been drinking again.

It's my own fault, what can I say, I get lonely and start drinking, and can't just stop at a few beers.

And then I pick up the phone and start calling random departments and further make a fool out of myself, but again it's done out of loneliness. And I won't apologize for feeling lonely.

Most, I doubt, could cope as well as I do with my loneliness at times.

Either way this past period off from work I really failed myself big time, big time, wasted a lot of time, and got nothing done.

I went grocery shopping today, spent around 80 dollars, and moral is still very low right now.

Only time can fix it, time and seperation from yesterday and today.

I even called my employer, left a message, further making a fool out of myself, is there no end to my madness.

An interesting storm surge video