Moods

I've been in a very strange mood today, not sure why, started off OK, but then, I don't know.
It's like all I want to do is stand still.

I wonder if certain foods can change our moods?

Cause seemed mood really began to change after I ate some deli food, but then the day was just odd, schedule wise.

Thought maybe having a beer or two would change my mood, didn't help at all one single bit.

I don't know.

Flesh is so complicated, but it's what our spirits are incased in.

Sometimes I don't know what to do with myself as a person.

Sometimes I can't even believe I'm alive and 'here', and exist.

One probably mainly only has thoughts like this when alone.

Right now I feel like I hate everything!

I just feel like I hate everything right now, no one personally, but rather everything, probably cause in a bit of physical discomfort right now.

Just seems every things against me, bugs, parasites, nature, man, computers, programs, software, nothing works right!

And tomorrows Monday, (that is when I go to bed and wake up, yes, I know Monday's already here but it's early morning still)

Just seems even the smallest things of joy, that could be joy, are taken from those who already have the least!

Tired of praying, tired of feeling grateful.

Tired of feeling like I've always done something wrong to make god upset thus bad things occur, what a mind controlling pile of beans!

Evil wicked men rule the world, rule the streets, yet if a good person and have one stray thought, you're told the wrath of god comes down on you and curses you for life, cause you had one stray thought, yet wicked men own yachts, live in mansion, extort millions from tax payers while in elected office.

Yet us common types told if we so much as sneeze the wrong way, the wrath of god is upon us..BS!

If god is that cooky, well...I won't say it.

It's man who's cooky, obviously.

i'm going to bed now, tomorrow will just be more of the same, social pain, economic pain, and now physical pain.

later.

Your moods can really mess with you.
And moods so effect enthusiasm to do stuff.

And when into the creative arts, moods are everything.

I mean you can dig a ditch, and your mood doesn't matter, but when trying to 'act' or write a script or perform, mood is everything, and if not in the right mood, you're screwed.
That's why so many performers do drugs (I would imagine), cause performing requires you to always fake pretend you're in a good mood, or whatever mood your character requires you to be in.

I think playing a crabby person would be an easy role to play, since most people are naturally grouchy and crabby anyways.

My mood is very flat right now, just got off from work, and I feel 'flat'.

When single, and get home, there's no one to life you up.

I kind of just feel like I can never win, like me telling myself I'd win at life was all just an illusion.

You gotta be careful to not let your own mind twist you into a bad or sour mood.

Things can be apparently unjustified against you, but still you must guard your mood, cause if you lose your mood, it's you who loses.
Cause the other people that are doing you wrong don't feel your mood, only you do.

You may feel you have talent, talent that needs to be shared, words that need to be shared, yet snuffed out by whomever and whatever, well don't stop.

Cause ultimately fate is in control, and fate can and will rot whatever it is that's standing in your way.

But also, expecting 'justice' to always prevail, will at times twist your mood.
Or thinking to yourself that god is in control of everything, when clearly it or they, isn't.

For if God were indeed in control of everything that would make god a lunatic.

Sorry, but god is not controlling what a lobster does at the bottom of the pacific ocean right now and if 'you' think so, than that would make you, and not god, the lunatic.