It's Saturday!

The world today, the dynamics of it all, actually sadden me a bit (is why try not to think about it to much)

There's a lot of evil in this world, and evil doesn't always come in the form of 'back alley' evil, evil can come in the form of 'greedy powers' that try to take control of other peoples moods and outlook on life...evil can come in the form of powerful rich lunatic men who buy, then take control of the media to constantly bombard people with dark negative headlines as a way of controlling their moods and outlook on life, thus easier to control 'them'.

A evil poor person has limited capacity in which to do or spread their evil, but a evil person with billions of dollars to spend, well their evil has a much broader reach and influence.

I don't fear a evil poor person in as much as I do a evil rich powerful person.

And soon, I'm sure, even rich powerful people will try their best to rob us all of the glory of Saturday, Saturday's and the freedom that comes with it.

So many of us over live our purpose in this world

Before the industrial age, populations were very low, even the largest tribes in the Americas, North America, now America, rarely numbered over 3000.

Nature kept most societies at around that number, some larger of course, some smaller, but I'm guessing from reading history that 3000 was seen as a large tribe number back in the day.

Why so small?

Cause back then people didn't over live their usefulness, small meant efficient.

Today, America is going on 300 million plus people and eating up the environment and resorces along the way, like locust.

Now, people, most of us, way out live our usefulness to society other than being someone the Government can tax.

I see fat or unhealthy people whom nature would of removed long ago, years ago, but now allowed to just linger own do to hospitals and this and that.

The more folks you have lingering around without any real purpose, the more crime society gets.
Women just having babies, not cause they have some grand plan for them, but women having babies simply cause they like having sex and don't think about the consequence of their actions until after baby is born, who then themselves without a purpose is flash mobbing stores by the age of 15.

Mental illness is on the rise also, crazy people without a purpose just roaming the city streets, shoving people in front of subways, taking the lives of others while being allowed to exist themself without a purpose.

This society, all socieites, really need to streamline themselves and get rid of all the extra fat.

It's Saturday.

One phrase I just saw again that was written down in another section on here is '

'If you don't keep moving forward, hell will find you'.

I mean how true is that statement?

And it doesn't even come from the bible.

Not sure why some brainwashed to think all wise sayings died with the bible, and that only men who were alive during the bible days were wise or could create proverbs.

I've created many proverbs that make total sense in today's world, and so have many others, people just need to read them, discover them, apply them and digest them.

This could easily turn into one of those 'Fall back to chaos' type of weekends or days, so I have to be careful not to let it.

What do I mean by that?

Moods and moments.

Like today, feeling very sludgy, so easy to say to self 'Well since feeling unproductive anyways, may as well just drink'.

And then drinking leads to sloppiness, ect.

But I don't have to go that route.

I've been having some of the most wonderful feelings days these last few weeks since not drinking, and since taking natural herbs, energy out this world.
But for some reason, like how a lover returns to an abusive partner, I'll find self, the next day, if off, feeling down a bit, and wanting to return to old habits.

The habit of drinking, feeling good for a few hours, saying the heck with everything, then going to bed having accomplished nothing, with place a mess.

Almost as if I'm afraid of what it's like to just actually have multiple days of feeling good and energetic.

Like sabotaging my own efforts of a better mental or physiological existence, and why that is I don't know.

But I write about it to make self-aware of it, cause making self aware of own habits, good or bad, is the best way to track your habits thus observe patterns and possibly reasons.

Cause only then can you actually straighten yourself out, not for others, but for self.

Others may not even know you struggle with anything. In fact, usually people who struggle with stuff present self in the best light while in public, by dressing nice, looking nice, ect.

I even went out and bought some booze, plus already have a few cans of beer here sitting around.

I stopped though, after drinking a few swallows as a more reasoned side of me took over and said 'why?'

It said 'You don't have to go that route'

And I really don't, cause I feel much happier when sober, much happier actually, and way more confident.

To be continued.

Alcohol is like that hug we all so desperately need at times, but with alcohol, that hug can often turn into a choke hold.

Almost feel like drinking, it's been a pretty dull day so far.
Drinking could spice things up a bit, I have plenty of energy, but, well, it's not crazy get wild type of energy that drinking gives you.

My Saturdays have really changed over the years

For a while there, was actually going out to certain club, mingling, drinking, then that stopped.

Then for a while, I was content watching horror movies on the couch, dvd's and all, those days are long gone.

And now, I do absolutely nothing on Saturday nights, nothing, I just stay home and write, or create art, dream about stuff, wish upon stuff.

Even though yes, I get lonely at times, but meeting women just isn't my thing anymore, cause the kind of woman I want to meet just isn't going to be in this area, and usually the kind of woman I think I want to be with, they never see me as someone they'd want to be with, so I've pretty much just given up, and that's bad.

And I don't have pals to hang out with to go out and boost each others self esteem.

Most guys my age married, have kids, ect, so I'm just left out on the farm all alone.

I'm just socially isolated.

And online dating, just not into that crap, I hate how you're studied and made to feel like a piece of meat by women who don't even turn me on.
And I hate being 'dropped' by some low IQ b-tch, just because you answer one question wrong or something, I hate people like that, but that's what online dating is, superfiscial fks looking for other superficial fks.

Oh well, it is what it is, if I ever win the lottery, I'll tell everyone to go to hell, everyone who ignored me when I was broke, if ever win the lottery they can all go to hell as far as I'm concerned.

(Wow, I think that's the alcohol in me expressing that, just started drinking)