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Post by Jupiter on Jun 19, 2023 4:29:35 GMT
Death, dying, discussions Pull the lever...
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Post by Jupiter on Jun 19, 2023 4:30:43 GMT
Amazing how many people willing to commit suicide, do they not realize once gone, just gone, no more thoughts, nothing.
That freaks some, most people out, whereas others seem to derive comfort from that notion.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 13, 2023 18:59:05 GMT
I'm not dead, but today either I feel dead to the world, or the world feels dead to me, as if I've outlived my purpose, yet still lingering around.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 13, 2023 19:06:04 GMT
Yep, I totally feel dead to the world today, haven't even gotten dressed today yet, and I drank last night, after working a long shift.
But I just needed to get some things out, that would not have come out, had I not drank.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 14, 2023 18:08:56 GMT
I feel like the spirit inside of me has died.
Very odd feeling and physiological reality.
Not sure what to do about it other than to ride it out.
When you feel like this, it's not a matter of activity or changing thoughts suddenly, cause it's an actual phisological event.
It's going to take days, maybe weeks, of correcting whatever led me here to this spot to begin with....a momentum change, per say.
We shall see.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 14, 2023 18:09:54 GMT
And it's not about 'energy', cause I can drink coffee, and have plenty of energy, yet that feeling of having my soul gutted, stripped out of me, and mined away, is still there.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 14, 2023 18:11:54 GMT
I do know one thing though, and that is only I can fix this, cause no one else will.
When you're in pain or discomfort, no one else feels it but you, therefore no one else cares, cause everyone feels they have their own mountains to climb.
So, if in pain, you'd better fix it yourself or it won't get fixed, at least as an older adult it won't.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 14, 2023 18:22:01 GMT
It's like a part of me has given up, and just doesn't care anymore about trying to make it in a wicked world.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 26, 2024 0:14:15 GMT
I feel like I'm dead right now, dead to the future, dead to everything and everyone around me, and so I get ready to go workout, walk a bit, bike a bit, to make myself feel alive, at least on the physical level.
It's the strangest mental state to be in.
In the past I was always drunk or drinking during my spare time, so I had no time to notice just how utterly empty my life is....but now that sober, I can see how hollow my life is, and those I though were supposed to make up my life.
No one has ever been there, it's all been one long drunk illusion...very very odd.
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