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Post by Jupiter on Jul 18, 2024 18:23:04 GMT
It's Thursday It's Thursday, and I'm slightly bored. I feel like doing something fun, but have no one fun to do anything with. And I've just about been everywhere around here and don't feel like wasting gas just driving around seeing the same areas. Although I could take my old truck, drive, park, and then bike in a better area, one one with more interesting less hood minded types. Black folks are paranoid and boring as hell to mingle with on the streets. Most don't come from open safe communities, and so don't know how to be open and safe towards others in public. I'm bored, what shall I do? Go to the comedy zone tonight?But then I might be tempted to drink, and I haven't drank in weeks. Hmm...
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 8, 2024 23:03:54 GMT
I've been stuffed inside this room all day, sitting, laying down, sitting...I need to get out, but don't feel like doing that either....probably cause I drank last night, and have drank twice within a week...I know the pattern, and that pattern is when start drinking, it makes you crabby and not want to really step out of your home, unless to get more beer or booze. It's a bad cycle to fall into....and it never gets better on it's own, cause the worse you feel, the more you want to drink. Anyways, that being said...I tell ya, Adobe photo editor, what a mess, no wonder I never had no use for it, but it's what most professionals use...I hate it and find it way to complicated compared to Movavi photo editor, which is 10 times easier to use and you don't need hundreds of hours of tutorials to figure out how to use it. The people who designed Adobe are straight up dorks...dorks make things overly complex, it's just what dorks do. Anyways, it's Thursday alright. |
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 5, 2024 20:35:17 GMT
Not having the best day, as far as my mood goes Not having the best day, as far as my mood goes. I think it's alcohol related, even though haven't drank since Tuesday night, but when I did, I acted a fool, rode my bike while drunk, and talked smack to people on the streets. And I tried one of those flavored, super bad for you, beer type of drinks.Not sure what they put in that stuff, but it's not regular type of drunk.  This is the type of beer, that if really young, and drank at a party, you'd get so nutty, and if attractive you'd allow yourself to be molested, or you'd start acting a fool and get beat up. There's just something unsavory about flavored beer drinks...I think they add some extra ingredients to them. I had just one, but after drinking a few cans of normal beer, but still...I think it's still effecting my mood and outlook. ----------------------------- Anyways, at least I did workout earlier today, and felt paranoid while doing so, as if I were being watched and followed by the person I confronted on the streets on Tuesday night. Then I came back in my _____, just to show off, and started cursing, not at them, but while talking to them. So childish and immature of me, but like I said above, I think it was that flavored beer that just hit me in a weird way. I don't know if my life's path will ever get better, I seem to be my worst enemy at times, but it's all primarily do to just being so alone all the time. When in a relationship and feel loved, you tend to reel yourself in...but when accountable to no one, you can act a fool at times, especially if and when drinking or drunk. Wow, I've written a lot...have other things to do, so I'll end it here, for now.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 12, 2024 13:10:05 GMT
Thursday  Today, hmm. I wake up today with a sense of dread, dread of running out of time and money. You can only be free when you have money, without money you become another persons slave...period. That's just how it's been set up in this modern world. And I really don't want to become another persons slave anymore, not at my age. There is no job or career I want anymore, other than to write. I'm going to have to stop being lazy now and grow, mature a bit if I hope to forge a future for myself, what's left of it, that won't drive me insane. And so I will have some coffee, or make some, and get work doing what I have to do. I have a phone call meeting today at 2 pm with some screenwriting coach...but if I accept, it's not free. Nothing is free, but it's up to me to get the most out of what I'm paying for. I wish I could win the lottery and just didn't have to do anything. I've been out of work and taking online courses for last 6 months, and the idea of going back to work horrifies me. Anyways, maybe I'll apply for unemployment soon, something I've never done in my whole life...but they make it so hard and complex to do so online...and I lost all my passwords when last place I live at got destroyed by fire and water and ash. --------------------- Anyways, the day is here, time to man up, person up, spirit up, motivation up...I've got to find it, cause no one else will find it for me. |
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