Could I ever be openly and just outright 'gay' or 'Lesbian'?

Another thing that has always turned me off from more seriously persuing the 'LGBTQ' route is the public websites and how utterly 'filthy' they are or use to be.

This idea that if 'gay' ect, you have to surrender your values at the door, just always seemed absurd to me.

Years ago I'd visit 'gay' websites and it was like pure porn in your face....I'm talking relationship type sites...seems guys were just interested in showing off the size of their hoses, and could care the less about forming deeper relationships...all of that just turned me off.

And it was the same way on C/L, where mainly straight by day, bi-sexual by night men would post very graphic adds, and who they wanted to meet up with and do what with them or have done to themselves.

And I was like 'so this is all being gay is about is fulfilling hidden lusts within?'.

I mean I wouldn't even want to be in a hetero relationship if that's all it was about.

So ye, my impression of the gay community in the past was simply one of filth, not do to being gay, but how gay sites portrayed gay/lesbian or even trans people, made it seem they were always hungry for sex, and didn't care much about anything else.

Just like trans, the only time you see trans online is if they're playing the role of some 'slutty' woman trying to please a man.

And I'm certain not every tran is like that, certain most aren't, but whenever there's a 'trans site', they'e simply portrayed as sex starved people wanting to please their former gender.

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But as I get older now, and realize there's a real possibility I won't meet that 'one and only special lady' (who also has to like me back), the more I realize that may not happen, the more I just start exploring other things in my mind.

I have liked and adored certain women my whole life and it has gotten me absolutely nowhere, haven't been in any type of relationship in over a decade, that makes for a lonely life after a while.

And then you break it down even further in that if I were gay, I wouldn't be attracted to just any ole type of guy.
I'm attracted to slender elegance, regardless of gender, first and foremost.

But like just some average construction worker looking type of person, no, male or female.

Like today while at corner store, some mountain women from like South America was in line, short, wide, and looked way to husky for my taste, they were huskier than me, they were female, but to me female only in gender, nothing about them turned me on at all.

But then again, women from that part of the world have to be more 'hardy', they have to work in the fields, slaughter live stock, gut the fish and all, so of course they don't walk around with make up and wearing heals as if from Beverly Hills.

That slender, clean, elegant, female look is kind of a modern invention of the west, where women of privilege could afford to stay home and just focus on looking good as the man went out to work.

And so that's kind of become the standard of how females should look everywhere.

And I'm just the type that if I were ever to fall for another 'guy' they'd have to be soft, slender and elegant, not neccesarily feminine, but elegant, 'male soft', cute, ect.

Either that or they'd have to be like ultra large and masculine so that I could feel 'soft' around them.

I just believe in opposites, that's what turns me on is opposites.

But like when I see two bearded men kissing, heck no!

I think that's when one is truly gay is when they're attracted to that which looks and is built just like them.
Where as others, although attracted to same sex at times, I think it's cause they see reflections of something more in the one they're attracted to other than just their gender.

Sexuality has and always will be a very complex thing, cause no two people really have the same standards when it comes to beauty or what they're attracted to.

When women look like this, are this large and 'butch', and drive Masculine cars, it almost makes me want to be gay



Sorry, but as a male of color, because people of color are so vastly different from one another, from 'black' to mixed, to foreign to whatever, to class, to education level and more, because of that tastes very widely among 'black' males or those considered as such.

And to me, linebacker football sized urban females who look like men with make up on or men in drag, with features larger than my own, I'm just not attracted to that, not in a romantic since anyways.

And where I stay, this is what you see is these large football linebacker built females, angry as hell, driving around in muscle cars that where I came from it's the men who use to drive the hot rods, but in urban areas it's these masculated urban females more likely than not to be driving the muscle cars.

Now maybe some males attracted to that, but I'm not, not in a romantic sense, and could never date such a woman, and can only imagine how much of an impossible attitude they have to get along with, the artificial pride (but in fairness I guess everyone has artificial pride), the quickness to curse you out, and call you ugly names and more.

Why would I want that in my life?

Most men don't, is why so many of these urban 'Butch' black females are turning Lesbian, they have their 'child' early on by male breeder, then boot him out of their life and seek out submissive female to partner with, I'm seeing this more and more and even live around it.

Just not down for this type of 'culture' if you want to call it that.

I still think women should be more petite than myself, at least if they want me to be attracted to them, and if not, doesn't mean I'm gay, just means I'm not romantically attracted to women whom younger thin males look more feminane than...if anything it means I'm Hetero in that I'm turned on by the whole opposite dynamic.

Why some bi-curious types get annoyed with certain closet gay types

twylightzone.boards.net/thread/183/low-means-dirty-dishonest-lost?page=1&scrollTo=14473

A very interesting read, sexuality is very fluid, and certain closet gay dudes who dwell in the gutter don't understand that.

I don't know what this is



I don't know if this is a male or female or a horse, I just don't know.

I mean to me if a roach could transform into a human, well.

Not trying to be mean, just honest.

I think many other people do find them attractive, is why they're a celebrity, but me, nah.

And no, it's not do to color, hell I'm a person of color, there's billions of people of color on this planet who cannot relate to this image.

Face, bright red lipstick ect, just looks odd.

Looks like a cartoon face with flesh on it, but hey, they're famous, they're making money off of their looks and talent, and I am not, so who am I to talk.

Also, I think people, the casual public, they get gay, or LGBTQ 'porn', confused with actual LGBTQ love relationships.

So when you here like Conservatives say 'The gay lifestyle', they're referring to the images they see on porn sites, and equate that to day to day lovers of the same sex.

That would be like a gay person assuming that what they see on hetero adult sites is standard behavior for hetero relationships.

It's not, porn is porn, and is seperete from actual loving relationships between two adults.

Seems simple enough, but sadly most people can't distinquish the two.