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Post by Jupiter on Aug 16, 2020 1:47:39 GMT
Between black and white, gay and straight, and the perils of  Between black and white, gay and straight, and the perils of.... It's easy to be 'white', and or easy to be 'black'. It's easy to be 'gay' and or easy to be 'straight'. But what's hard and difficult for some, is when caught between both worlds of definite definitions. And can be even harder if 'black', and male, where of all people, males on the planet, you're allowed the least amount of cultural room or space to explore self. Hispanic and Black males, more so than suburban 'W' males, are usually born into this culture of 'hardness', where males are expected to act 'G' like at 5 months old, and at 1 year of age expected to have robbed first corner store, and by 3 to put out first rap album. That's just the cultural cage most 'b' males have been put in, and expected to work with, and if escape from that cage, are scorned, ridiculed, ostracized, some times beat and made fun of. So most just stay in the cage and become what society wants them to, which is that look of fear and uneasy nerves you get from others whenever you walk up to cashier and check out. Society has manufactured and created this 'monster' effect, and project it onto 'you'. Every society needs it's boogie man, it's suspect, something to measure itself against in order to feel 'good'. But is that really who you are? Or are you scared on the inside just like everyone else?, are you vunerable on the inside like everyone else? Do you need a hug at night, like everyone else? Do you feel pain, fear, anxioty like everyone else? ____________________________________________________________________________ The following posts are what people caught between black and white, gay and straight, struggle with on the inside, their fears, and the things that make them nervious as reflected through art.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 16, 2020 1:56:04 GMT
The male 'negro' image is one of the ugliest images ever created by 'the white man', so why wouldn't some (the keen) choose to reject that artificial image of self, created by none other than racist from the past who 'hated'.
The image of the American negro was born of hatred and scorn, and contempt.
There was no such image in all the world, prior to the trans Atlantic slave trade, where soon after arriving those captured were stripped of everything, language, former customs, former dress, former religion, former music, all the things that bind a people together were stripped away from arriving slaves.
Weren't allowed to speak English, nor allowed to speak native tongue, thus the image of 'stupidity' engineered purposely by 'the white slave traders'.
Black people acted 'aloof', cause that's how the white man wanted them to act!!
The white man totally engineered the modern negro, which was created in the image of ignorance in order for his captures to feel 'superior'.
Hold others down, so that thou can feel 'superior'...that's really godly.
Well, there are many who now reject this image of ugliness, cast upon them by 'ugliness'.
For ugly tends to breed ugly.
And in the modern day 'negro', the 'white man' has totally gotten what 'he' created.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 22, 2020 7:33:13 GMT
Alien exam  This is 'Between gay and straight, black and white' art, I suppose, in that how does one categorize it? There is no category for art like this except inside of peoples heads and minds who are of color and get sick of always being portrayed the same way in media, as well as in art. In art, only 'the white woman' always portrayed as soft, and victim like, and beautiful, even if troubled, still 'beautiful' (according to some). And people of color, or 'black males', in art, always portrayed through the image of colonial eyes and mindset, as in some escaping slave running from plantation, or some reformed criminal who's big and scary looking, like Mike Tyson....general stereotypes invented by society. But my art or productions present a way more subtle side of all, but mainly of males placed in vulnerable positions, or themes, or even comical ones. It's my aim to always bring out a softer side of male, particularly a softer side of black or 'male of color' male, who's image has been so butchered by society, and continues to get butchered, by both blacks and whites a like, so that when you walk into a store, people, cashiers, instantly frown at you as if there's nothing inside, as if you're as hollow on the inside as their vile, prejudice self assumes. (is why I know for sure 'God' doesn't exist inside of man), cause man always gets it wrong. Anyways, I wanted to write about the 'production' above but got side tracked. Just a 'test' of what's to come, experimenting with new techniques. The trick is now days, to get your ideas across as quickly as possible, within seconds if you can. Trying to do so on You Tube is a waste of time now, cause only favored videos are allowed views by google. It's why one video can go viral and get 1 million views, and another video can sit on there for 3 years and only get 12 views, cause google controls who sees what now....people behind the scenes at google 'toy' with the platform, elevate their own friends, contacts ect...it's all so rigged now. If you're not making google money, they're not interested in promoting any of your stuff. So gifs are a quick and easy way to get your message across that can be seen on any platform. The above is just some self degridating satire...was just experimenting, but much more to follow, with more poiant points that people will understand better. But even this has an obvious point to it, many actually, depending on who you are and what's inside of you. I could come up with 1. If racist, nice to see a 'b' person get fried (Mexicans can be racist also) 2. If have hatred, fear of Androgynous types, nice to see what you think is one in image get fried, as alien carries out your wishes. 3. If a society invented typical colonial 'B' male, and hate what you think is a sissy, than you'll get rise out of alien frying person in image. 4. If a white female who's been taught that you're the center of everything beautiful, than you'll love seeing your competition get fried by alien. 5. If a Pastor, religious type, who thinks above person is a sinner, than alien represents you, your wrath, and gods wrath. 6. If a creative LGBTQ type, you just kind of shake your head, don't know whether to laugh, be amused or to feel insulted. 7. If a family member, you're thinking 'Is that really you, have you lost your mind?' 8. If a artistic rebel, you're like 'Hell ye!', more, more! 9. If a Democrat, you're like 'gee, what a waste of a potential voter', if a Republican your thinking 'Good, another Biden voter we don't have to worry about' 10. And if 'God almighty himself' you're like 'Oh goodness gracious, do you need a hug?' And with that I'm out, back soon with more production art.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 26, 2020 8:11:51 GMT
When alone, I don't think your sexual orientation or color matters to self  When alone, I don't think your sexual orientation or even color matters to self, all that matters to self is that you're alone. And so when alone your imagination takes over and you invent characters that help you not feel so alone. This is one such character, and this character happens to be 'me'. A odd neglected soul they are, not so much physically, but rather psychologically. But this character, like so many others, keeps me company at times.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 1, 2020 8:32:20 GMT
When I'm alone, I like deciding who and what I am  When I'm alone, I like deciding who and what I am, and what I am is a person who likes to be creative and have fun, there's fun in creativity, and anyone who says otherwise is lying. And this idea that our creativity dies or wanes after a certain age is false, is why the entertainment industry rules the world, movie after movie is released with every ones favorite characters. But when we leave the theater we understand those characters aren't real. Well it's the same with self, only self is the production theater, with many different characters and moods on the inside that like to come out from time to time. This is understood when younger and in school, but when out of school, I guess people just expect you to adapt on role and stick to it all of the time even when it doesn't serve you. I mean there's a time to be tough, then there's a time to laugh, smile and play. Either way the season is short for all of us, life that is, so why fuss over the little stuff that won't matter 10 or 100 years from now.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 3, 2020 15:58:27 GMT
When alone www.globalinsanity.earthWhen alone, I'm at peace with who I truly do believe I am. But again it's hard to say any of us are one thing all of the time, basic phycology tells us that, environments heavily effect how we manifest ourselves. A soldier is usually only a soldier while on the battle field, but when home, say with their family, the soldier side of them self takes a far back seat. That applies to all, even to the rioters, they're not in riot mode 24/7, also applies to racist, even people 'we' consider racist have their 'sane' moments when they seem like everyone else. It's all kind of common sense accept when it comes to the western male identity where people have it in their minds that to truly be a male, you must be 'Rambo like' all of the time, even when sleeping, that you must go to bed with M-16 next to pillow and grenades under the covers to truly prove you're a man. And it's that notion that has done so much damage to natures natural balance within us all. I, and others, out and right reject, and daily learning to reject it more and more. Being at peace with self has zero to do with sexual orientation, just thought I'd throw that in also, those who think so should seek a psychiatrist, I mean when I'm at peace with myself, the last thing I'm thinking of is who I want to have eggs and toast with. Rather I'm in a relaxed state of mind and being, but sadly once leave 'place' it usually ends as you're no longer who you are, but rather become what shallow minded Earthlings project upon you, which often times isn't good, and is why to this day I know God doesn't dwell inside of any man, holy spirit or not, most times it's a unholy spirit that makes people act so mean towards others. Anyways, if there is a divine God, one day it'll be interesting to hear why those who hated others, did so, and then explain to god why such a flawed mindset should be let into Heaven.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 7, 2020 6:17:26 GMT
What grosses me out about others What grosses me out about others, is another will think they know all about you, your habits, wants and desires based on one label. How can I explain that better. If you're a male, who wants to look beautiful, the first thing a very low IQ person will ask you is 'Well, um, are you gay? If you, or one, asks that type of question, your mind is in the dirt!! Why the hell does wanting to look beautiful to yourself as a male have to do with any type of sexual activity??! So after people form their own evaluation of you, not based on fact or history, but based on their Low IQ mind here's the different behavior of how they respond. 1. If they think you're gay, and are 'closet gay', they automatically try to hit up on you... 'Oh, it's OK, we're alone, I'm gay to'....type of BS What?, Huh?, so because they think you're gay, in their minds they assume you're open to anything and anyone and lack any type of self control and or don't have your own personal 'standards'? 'Well, they're gay, so therefore they're attracted to any type of male, and because they're gay, they must always be in a ho--y mood', thinks the typical low IQ mind. Mind you, they still don't know anything about you or your habits, they just slapped label upon you and so are acting based on their own perception of you, and not 'you', yourself...as you look at them oddly. Maybe you're celibate, and all you want is a hug now and then Has that ever occurred to them? If people think you're 'gay', then they assume you do this and or that, again without ever confirming or bothering to ask, not that it their business. I mean gay people don't ask about the habits of Hetorsexual men and women who sleep around and have orgies and do other out of marriage stuff, so not sure why heteros feel it's their business to pry into the lives of gay people, or those in the LGBTQ community. People are so frail, but their frailness is what makes life so hard for those who are 'plural'. Those of us who could just use a hug now and then, those of us who are sick and tired of being the ugly projections of your unsubstantuated sexual and even racial bigotry. You've made my existence so dam hard, that at times I sit back and watch with glee as your own existence begins to crumble. As those who are coming into power begin to misundertand you, as much as you've misunderstood and judged the likes of 'me' over the years. What goes around comes around I suppose, it's just the law of nature.
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Post by Jupiter on Sept 7, 2020 6:28:47 GMT
The flawed mindset of others
People, experts, professionals, ect, will only move in 'to help' if they think they can have a 'superior role' in the relationship.
"You stupid, me smart', type of stuff
'You sick, me healthy', type of stuff
It never occurs to them that maybe they're the one who is sick or has unhealthy views about others, or even themselves.
They always have to be in the 'healing role', and never the reverse.
Talk about frail.
Experts are very frail.
You have to be completely and totally broken, in order for them to move in, they need that...again talk about frail.
It's why on TV, on TV specials, interviews, it's always person who is 'broken', that's given the attention, and the expert who's there to fix them.
It's almost like a 'Nurse Ratchet' dynamic.
Were the patients sick, or was Nurse Ratchet the one who needed them to be sick to carve out role for herself?
Understand 'Dynamics', and you're understand much about human behavior and interactions.
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Post by Jupiter on May 4, 2021 4:43:29 GMT
As a male of color, who is often demonized in a 'W' society, I often wonder what it would be like if I could, for a day or a week, have the body of a 19 year old 'W' male 'twink' or Androgynous type of person, how different would my experience be then, compared to now??...listen to Podcast episode and decide for yourself mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/pxaf4h/If_could_be_a_twink_for_a_day.mp3 Direct Podcast episode, or hit link below and go to podcast page and leave a comment there if you agree or disagree.. mygospel88.podbean.com/e/if-could-be-a-androgynous-twink-for-one-day-oh-the-things-i-could-get-away-with-1584625775/ I mean they always do say that the grass is or appears greener on the other side, but is it? Would indeed my life be better if I were some scrony, yet cute, 19 year old twinkish looking white guy?, or are there issues that cute younger males face that I and others don't know about? Listen to podcast and decide for yourself. 
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Post by Jupiter on Jun 6, 2021 20:27:44 GMT
How does someone like me even fit in??
A person of color raised around white people, raised around whites who listened to 'Rock' and 'Country' and ect, yet expected to be 'black' when grow and adult and off into society?
How can someone like me ever fit in when from K-12 raised around whites, Punk rock chicks, the white work ethic, and yes, some 'blacks', but the other blacks raised around were to 'part white in culture', yet when grown and adult expected to be able to relate to some ghetto type black in Detroit??...are you kidding me?
Life is so much more complex than your average dense headed and dunce church Pastor will ever understand.
Pastors claim to worship a grand large 'God'...I doubt that, instead I think Pastors simply worship their own past experiences...and call that 'god'.
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Post by Jupiter on Jul 1, 2021 7:06:34 GMT
'Black', what does that mean to me?
To me 'black' is more of a mindset, or a 'struggle', a cause, a never ending cause and struggle.
To me it's basically the same as being defined as 'X' or X
I'm a person of color, but I'm not 'black', the only thing I have in common with black folks is the universal struggle against 'white bigotry', but beyond that struggle, I have nothing in common with most black folks, at least in the SE, or no more or less than I do with your common 'white person'.
It just depends, I mean I've been trying to so call be 'black' all my life, and it just doesn't work, black folks can't relate to me, nor I to them, at least the street types.
I don't have a single black friend right now, haven't in decades.
And not really attracted to the fashion styles of black females with the nails and all, I find that gross.
Where I was raise, the gals, the women, the white women, Hispanic women, any women, they just didn't do that, they were more rural and road horses ect.
Those are the type of women I miss.
And not only that my skin tone isn't solid dark brown color, and in the SE, black females really won't talk to you unless you're as dark as they are.
I think I'd fit in better with either the Cuban or Hispanic community, and or blacks from more midwestern rural areas, but blacks raised in the SE, nah, they don't understand me, nor me them, to me they're as culturally small minded as they claim whites are, if not more actually.
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Post by Jupiter on Aug 23, 2021 4:08:39 GMT
You get to a point in your life, some sooner than later, that you just realize there is no one like you, and or no 'group' you're compatible with
Especially if a 'b' male, cause everyone pigeon holes you, they want you to be this way or that way, and nothing else.
The only exeption to that is like in the 'arts', as in the movies, actors, musicians, and so forth, but most don't live in that realm, so if just a average blue collar type with those same artistic traits, you get totally pigeon holed.
Whites expect that you get along with others, they, not you, but others they consider 'black' (whatever that is), and black folk, the ones whites think you should get along with, look at you strange.
I still though, in hearts of hearts, do believe it's all about environment and the type of people you settle around.
If a black male who's really artsy, not talking urban artsy, but more like 'fantasy' artsy, 'fairytales' type artsy, exploratory type artsy, if you're like that, than the last place you ever want to move is to the South East.
Actually that's not even really true anymore since so many people coming here from different areas, and not only that but not every black person from the NE is open minded and artsy either, the rap culture has just kind of wiped away a lot of peoples individual artistic flair.
I think 'rap' has kind of been like a curse to the modern black male, cause it has so maligned 'him', exploited him, kept him actually very 'small', artistically.
The only time younger rappers really 'drift' is once they make a ton of money, can separate selves from old neighborhood and be exposed to more diverse ways of thinking, dressing, acting and thinking.
But some never change no matter what, and are pretty much 'hood' for life.
Whatever years I have left on this Earth, I don't want it to be in any or near any South Eastern urban area, where you basically have 'country blacks' that habitat the areas, are everywhere, same closed mindnessness, same crime, same blunt smoking theme.
I just hopefully can move away from 'hell' one day, and be alone out in a rural area, like how I grew up.
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Post by Jupiter on Feb 10, 2022 21:12:02 GMT
As a person of color I just can't talk to other black people or people of color who listen to rap, and or blare it in their cars in public.
Anyone, of any color, who is my age and still listening to rap in public and think that that's cool, get lost (I say to self)
I just came from the park, I was exercising, and vehicle pulled up and had rap music on, it was so ugly to me, contrasting nature and then hearing rap.
Don't get me wrong, I do like me some rap, but not 24/7.
Black folks who have never been raised far and away from the black community, have no idea how vile rap sounds in certain situations.
And how it totally demeans 'us', in public, in that the last thing I want to be associated with while in public is vile rap music, jazz, sure, old soul, sure, classic soul, sure, old school rap, sure, but this newer stuff, no.
And maybe that's just me showing my age.
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Post by Jupiter on Oct 29, 2023 15:27:28 GMT
This is the me, I wish everyone could see, but they don't, cause most are blind, totally blind This is the me I wish others could see, but they don't, most are incapable of seeing 'the true you'..(or me, anyways) But that can work both ways, in that often times people, who look naturally cute and charming, are often monsters on the inside, and are given a pass by society. I'm not one of those, instead, I'm the one always viewed as a monster, and have to waste energy, emotional energy, always proving to others I'm not. Oh well, nothing I can do about it, I didn't create this world or the sin in it.
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Post by Jupiter on Dec 25, 2023 0:21:10 GMT
Lately, Amazons system won't take my card payment, that sucks, cause as a adult B male, I rarely, if ever, shop at brick and mortar stores anymore, other than grocery stores, cause I can't stand the profiling, especially at my age, it's sickening.
And it's done by all, regardless of color, blacks profile other black shoppers just as much as anyone else does.
So I save myself the dignity by ordering stuff online, rather than walk into Walmarts or Targets anymore, as a black male, forget that.
And other black males, younger ones, acting a fool out west, doesn't help ease the stereotyping...but I'm not them, I'm me, but no one cares, cause if a black male, regardless of your age or standing, and walk into a retail store, you're target number 1 for sumicion.
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