Shopping

I so hate shopping now, it's the biggest waste of time I can almost imaging doing anymore when not actually at work clocked in.

When I'm off work, grocery shopping is the last thing I want to do, actually it's the pre shopping effort that bums me out, the getting dressed, the grooming, the what should I wear, the having to put on a good face even if not in the best of moods, just the whole 'public' thing.

Been saying for years I was going to sign up for grocery delivery service, did once, but never ordered anything cause kept feeling that my shopper would buy the most expensive meat or produce, rather than looking for deals as I would.

But sadly, today, I must go shopping, cause fridge about empty, and I do need some healthy stuff in there if I expect to continue staying healthy.

Can only glide on non nutritional stuff for so long.

Continued from above

The deed is done, now I'm about $130.00 more broke, and fridge and cabinets still look empty.
That's the thing about food, it's all perishable, so what you buy today, gone in a few weeks, gone, than have to do it again, shop that is.

I finally signed up for grocery home delivery, the first order went well, younger thin, very nice mannered 'B' guy with dreads showed up, they were friendly, smiled a lot and had a soft voice.

But yesterday, I was expecting the same, when instead your typical condescending, arrogant urban 'B' female showed up instead, and didn't complete the order, I ordered two cases of bottled water, and they swore the store was out, (ye right)...I know what it was, they were just to lazy to want to carry the water, but I'll know soon, cause about to go to store now and get the water.

Just saying though the spirit the two had in them was like night and day...the male was so pleasant and the female acted all arrogant, like that Olympian woman who turned back on the flag, or like that Congressman female lady who wants to defund the police while spending 100 gran on personal police protection.

Black females just rub me the wrong way, and wish I could refuse having any of them bring me groceries to my place anymore.

Unfriendly, stiff, and lack personality above a certain age, but I just don't need that sour energy around me.

But I just hate shopping now, the whole idea just bums me out, the mask BS, the lines, the traffic, the fact that something could go wrong with car then everything gets complicated.

And the days of me thinking I'll meet someone special at grocery store are long over, at least in this area, instead they all look like stumbling post sexual zombies to me, even women, mainly the women, whom many of them use Gov aid to buy their food, leaching off the system, where as I have to pay for all my groceries on my own, and if broke, I just don't eat.

Continued from above.
I did go ahead and order some groceries, I mean I had to.

You have to be healthy, and well gosh dern it, the creator put food on this earth for us to eat to be healthy, man, animals, reptiles, fish, birds, we all have to eat food to keep organs healthy until to old to matter.

Eventually age will get us all, rich or poor, but while healthier enough for body to utilize nutrients, than why not eat healthy.

Was reading about the benefits of cucumbers, grapefruit, mushrooms and more.

All stuff currently in diet, oh how wish I had space for a garden.

I kind of do, but would have to be on porch.

a layered porch garden, I guess I could do something like that.



Grew peppers once like that, it was fun seeing the fruit develop from seeds.

but stuff I'd want to grow would take lots of space and deep earth, like cucumbers, carrots, potato's, red cabbage, and other big items...unless could rent garden space..hmm.

Anyways, I'm always talking, yet when off work I barely do anything I talk about.

I think it's time I get on up, get dressed, prepare face, and go to the store, the corner store, for some beer.

Yes, I think I'm going to drink again today, why not?

I'm alone, not motivated to do much, everything is closed, so why not drink to take my mind off of stuff.

I was making great progress a few weeks ago, then things just changed, I stopped having victories, and pain in my arm came back.

Little things just kept, keep, eating at me.

And I don't like to get upset anymore, getting upset is such a waste of energy, especially as you age.

And it just seems my face isn't going along with the rest of my body, I wonder why that is?

I mean does our face express our true inner sentiment?

Cause my face makes me look oh so tired, at least to me it does, and compared to photos just a year ago...what has or is changing?

I really do think the face really probably does reflect our inner mood, so maybe I just need to start faking like I'm happy, and hypmotize myself into thinking all is good, life is good and so forth...then maybe my face will reflect that joy.

Cause right now, my face looks sad and droopy to me, yet rest of body looks fit and trim...a body to die for, but my face just won't co-operate.

Anyways, going to get dressed then go to corner store, buy some beer, come back, drink, write, ponder, and whatever else.

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